note to God

what would you do if the doctor said you've got only 2 months left to live? well, im not a sick girl mentally or physically ( besides this idiotic cough thats bugging my life for almost a month! ) to actually think about those stuffs, but it was a question shot to me by my senior roomy. of course, i did burst out laughing and she said, no seriously.

ermm then i thought. what would the disease be? would i first cry to myself in pain? would i instead, be happy that ill leave this cruel world? what would it be like? besides my family and friends' sympathy, would there be any empathy left? i wonder. l0l come on! im gonna die and all you can do is cry for me? sigh.. but i know for sure, a warm big bear hug will make it ALL okay.

then came the question, what will i do, she asked. FLIRT!! i said. l0ll she was like WTH? i said, yeah, why not? well if all your life you've said NO to guys, for two months seriously, why NOT? besides that, i may do stuffs that has high possibility to cause death :) an early one you see. hehe.

but my deepest heart desire as all my friends know is KIDS, CHILDREN, BRATS.. whatever you call them, they're still a pie. like the sweetest thing on earth, for me. awww, how can i leave this world without having one of my own?? noooooo! :( sperm bank? nah, 2 months left. adopting? wth is gonna take care of that treasure once i leave? sobs.. maybe that is my only fear, to not feel what my parents felt when we, siblings were given to them by God. to see us grow, right from the moment we opened our eyes right up to time we yell at them for not letting us do what we want as an 'adult' .

gosh.. would i have to miss all that fun? hopefully not :S l0l, even if i have to, i know He has a plan for me already. so no worries girl :)

now i think im selfish for only considering, ME, MYSELF and I. how pathetic can it get. what about changing something for bettter in this world that God has placed me in. am i just gonna be 'another' girl who was born into this world and left in the same manner?? noooooo! i dont want to be one. well, there's much possible to do and one of it is a note to God. praying and surrendering everything at His feet. which reminds me of this song sang by gorgeous charice.

Note to God

If I wrote a note to God

I would speak what's in my soul

I'd ask for all the hate to be swept away

For love to overflow

If I wrote a note to God

I'd pour my heart out on each page

I'd ask for war to end

and for peace to mend this world

Give us the strength to make it through

Help us find love, cause love is overdue
And it seems like so much is going wrong

On this road we're on

If I wrote a note to God

I'd say please help us find a way

End all the bitterness, put some tenderness

in our hearts

Grant us the faith to carry on

Give us hope when it seems all hope is gone

Cause it seems like so much is going wrong

On this road we're on

charice, a teenage filipino sang this beautiful song. she went through loadza trials herself as a child. try google :) keep safe and uh huh.. what will you do to make a difference?